Parents Strongly Cautioned

Before I begin: Chloe and JT, if you really do read this like you said you would...go play outside.  This entry is rated PG-13.  I'll write something better for you soon!

My host mom Rosa has recently expressed interest in learning English, so I've been helping her to fulfill her dreams.  As I learn useful phrases in Spanish, I repeat them to her in English.  She's even purchased a notebook from the neighborhood Chino store (like a dollar store, but always run by Asians) with golden retriever puppies on the cover.  So naturally, I taught her how to say "puppy."  Because the Spanish letter u is more like an English oo, the result was, "Poopy?"  We'll work on pronunciation later.

Most Important Things to Know in Spanish/English
Que putada!  What a bitch!
  This was actually one of the first phrases I translated for Mama Rosa.  Somehow it came up during dinner, and I felt it was necessary for her to know the same phrase should she ever get cut off in traffic in the United States.  She uses it often.  "Whatta beetch!"
Rebote  Rebound
  We were discussing her daughter's past relationships, and this word literally took hours to extract from the mounds of roundabout explanations in broken Spanish.  But once I found "to rebound" in my pocket dictionary (thanks Annemarie!!) it was pure gold.
Me voy a correr.  I'm going to...
  This one is so awkward I almost don't want to include it, but really--knowledge is key to survival.  Translated literally, "I'm going to run" sounds like you're going for a workout.

Do not say this ever.  

It really means "I'm going to pleasure myself." 

Hortera  White Trash
  We were watching telebasura (trash tv) one night when Rosa called out the program host to be an hortera.  No dictionary was handy, but this word is useful when describing a tacky, classless woman (i.e., Snooki, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton...). Hortera may not translate literally to "white trash," but it is used to describe the  Spanish versions.
Teta  Theta
  I was describing the ins and outs of sorority life one night (we have the best dinner convos) and used my sweatshirt to assist in the explanation.  I pointed at the letters KAΘ on the back, then to the THETA written across the chest.  She immediately burst out laughing.  I was confused for a solid five minutes until she finally contained herself and could explain.  Since the h is silent, Theta looks like teta in Spanish.
Teta  Tit
  Awkward.  I'm not wearing my favorite sweatshirt outside.  Not now, not ever.