Ryan Air: An Exposé

I've mentioned a certain airline many times over the course of this semester, but never have I gone into satisfactory depth.  Now that I have finally booked the remainder of my European Adventure with said airline, I feel it's time to bring RyanAir to light.  It's time for the rest of the world to know the ins and outs of my best friend, worst enemy, and everything in-between.  Our relationship status over the course of this semester has gone from hot, to lukewarm, to freeze-your-toes-off-cold...then back to hot many, many times.

When RyanAir + Courtney = BFFs
Location: Online, typically on Cafe y Te's WiFi, on a sugar/caffeine-induced high.
Event: Purchasing tickets to go to other countries.
"Have you heard of Crete?"
"It's a €24 round trip...who cares? LET'S GO!"

When RyanAir + Courtney = Lukewarm Acquaintances
Location: Airport, prior to flight.
Event: Attempting to pass the "Bag-Fit Test" by shoving carry-on bag into the teensy-weensy and unyielding metal box.
"You have to fit your purse in that too.  No extra bags."
"I know, I know..."

It's not Brussels-(Charleroi); let's call it Destination: Middle of Nowhere

When RyanAir + Courtney = Unhealthy brother/sisterhood
Location: Visa check desk, security boarding gate, airplane.
Event: Getting passport and visa checked 6 times.
"Can I see your passport? Can I? Can I?"
"Me too! I wanna see it!! Where's your boarding pass? I wanna hold it in my haaaaand."
"Gimme! I wanna see it!!"





When RyanAir + Courtney = That Moment at a family holiday when That Relative does something awkward, but everyone looks away and pretends everthing is fine
Location: Standing-room-only cattle car bus.
Event: You know, if you parked the plane closer to the gate, we wouldn't have to take a bus to the plane...
"Hm, what's that now?  No, this is perfectly normal.  All the airlines are doing it.  I'm sure of it."

When RyanAir + Courtney = Partners in Crime
Location: On airplane, seated and buckled.
Event: Drinking Stella illegally.
"It is not allowed to bring alcohol onto RyanAir flights...for me, it is not a problem, but don't let my colleagues see."
You know what, attractive German male flight attendant? You're cool.

When RyanAir + Courtney = Valiant Competitors
Location: In line at the gate of any RyanAir-supported airport.
Event: Passing the "Bag Fit Test."  This is why I even took my heavy coat to the Grand Canaries.  When I sit down on the plane and uncover the purse I've hidden in the coat oh-so-casually thrown over my arm, I have the sense of elation that only comes with Winning.

Shhh.....

"Ha-HA, RyanAir, I have 2 bags on your little aircraft!"

When RyanAir + Courtney = Mortal Enemies
Location: In line at the RyanAir-infiltrated Charleroi airport security.
Event: Having to check the carry-on because the wheels on my mom's teeny-little suitcase are a teeny-bit too large for the Box Fit Test of Death.
"That will be 60 euro.  Go wait in three separate lines to check the bag, pay, and collect your passport."

When RyanAir + Courtney = It's Complicated

Location: Destination.

Event: The passengers clap, music plays, and a cheerful woman's pre-recorded accent comes on the PA system..."Congratulations! You've just arrived in yet another on-time flight onboard RyanAir..."
Let's just ignore the fact that we're clapping because the plane landed, shall we?

Monica, Maddy, and I are in the midst of our post-study abroad program travel plans.  Nearly all of our flights are through RyanAir, because despite of all the aforementioned issues that may lie between us, RyanAir is still maintains the least expensive and most attractive website around.  So here's to another round of trips with Europe's cheapest airline.  But please, if you must raise a glass--make sure you brought your own non-alcoholic beverage aboard, because a 6-oz can of Coca-Cola costs about €4.

¡Salud!